Journalism Pakistan
Journalism Pakistan
Freedom of expression shrinks in Pakistan as PECA Amendments take toll: report اظہارِ رائے کی آزادی محدود، پیکا میں ترامیم سے میڈیا کو شدید دھچکا: رپورٹDawn urges Indian media to abandon war rhetoric ڈان کی بھارتی میڈیا سے جنگی بیانیہ ترک کرنے کی اپیلIndia bans 16 Pakistani YouTube channels following Pahalgan attack پہلگام حملے کے بعد بھارت نے پاکستان کے 16 یوٹیوب چینلز پر پابندی لگا دی'In A Different Realm' offers a philosophical take on cricket's greatest innings ان اے ڈیفرنٹ ریلم کرکٹ کی عظیم ترین اننگز پر ایک فکری نقطۂ نظر پیش کرتی ہےCoordinated or coincidence? Identical tweets by Pakistani journalists raise eyebrows ہم آہنگی یا محض اتفاق؟ پاکستانی صحافیوں کے ایک جیسے ٹویٹس نے سوالات اٹھا دیےThe PSL paradox: pageantry or progress? پی ایس ایل کا تضاد: دکھاوا یا ترقی؟Sher Afzal Marwat launches personal attacks on journalists after PTI expulsion پی ٹی آئی سے نکالے جانے کے بعد شیر افضل مروت کے صحافیوں پر ذاتی حملےJournalist Sanaullah Khan alleges FIA blocking accounts of YouTubers and families صحافی ثناء اللہ خان کا انکشاف: ایف آئی اے یوٹیوبرز اور ان کے خاندانوں کے اکاؤنٹس بلاک کر رہی ہےA launch in style: Dr. Nauman Niaz unveils 'In A Different Realm' ان اے ڈفرنٹ ریلم کی رونمائی: ڈاکٹر نعمان نیاز کی کتاب Sindhi journalist AD Shar brutally murdered, PFUJ declares three-day mourning سندھی صحافی اے ڈی شر کا بہیمانہ قتل، پی ایف یو جے نے تین روزہ سوگ کا اعلان کر دیاAJK government registers case against newspaper and staff آزاد کشمیر حکومت کا اخبار اور عملے کے خلاف مقدمہJournalist Arzoo Kazmi alleges FIA threats, possible arrest over reporting صحافی آرزو کاظمی کا دعویٰ: ایف آئی اے کی دھمکیاں، رپورٹنگ پر ممکنہ گرفتاری

The newsroom bullshitter

 JournalismPakistan.com |  Published February 26, 2013 |  Chatterbox

Join our WhatsApp channel

The newsroom bullshitter

There’s at least one in every newsroom and he doesn’t feel shy to air his opinion at the drop of a hat. Of course, he knows more than you; has more contacts than you do, has done more stories than you and most certainly much better and important ones. He knows all the right people and places and how to get to them. The newsroom bullshitter is unavoidable. He’s larger than life and there’s nothing you can do about it except grind your teeth and bear up.

I’ve come across plenty in my two decades as a journalist and I can say with absolute conviction that except for the gift of the gab, these guys have nothing else going for them.

The sad thing is that even the most hardened newsroom veterans fall victim to their wiles and lies. Sometimes they can be that convincing.

A couple of years back I visited a friend who was starting up a newspaper in Islamabad. He was really excited. “I have a lot of good young people,” he enthused, “Lot of promise.”

Hmmm… I asked to meet a few of these shining stars of the future and he was quick to oblige.

There was girl who’d studied in the UK, brimmed with ideas and generally thought she was onto something big, there was another who was smug in the knowledge that she’d got her education at the Presentation Convent and also somewhere in the good ol’ US of A, a tubby, sloppily dressed young guy who fidgeted uncomfortably and declared he’d been referred by a well-known anchor and preferred to do political stories, there was a guy dressed in an oversized camouflage jacket and multi-pocketed khakis who adjusted his red and white kafiyah and informed me he was a ‘Taliban expert’ and finally there was this guy in a natty suit and college tie who said he would be writing about legal matters.

Ho hum… quite a bunch!!

“So what do you think?” my budding editor friend asked.

“Be prepared to be disappointed,” I said.

He stubbed out his cigarette and complained, “You always put a damper on everything.”

“It’s called being pragmatic,” I said, adding: “The girl from the UK will leave disillusioned, bitter and disappointed. She wants to work yet will never be allowed the leverage to do so. You will keep saying ‘no’ to every suggestion she has to make.”

“The other girl might have plenty of ideas too, but most of them are more suited to a website and she will write a couple of times. No staying power or real motivation. This is just a passing fad. The guy with the suit is here to make an impression. He will come in and out as and when it suits him. The guy in the battle gear is a mirage… he’s not real. Get rid of him. He’s not going to give you a single story, leave alone an exclusive on the Taliban…”

“What have you left me with,” my editor friend asked, tugging at his few strands of hair.

“Chubby with the bad clothes and practiced expertise in melting into the background when faced with work; he’s your newsroom bullshitter. Enjoy his antics until you have no option but to send him on his way.”

“But he’s been referred to me by my brother-in-law.”

And so it was.

A year on my friend the editor and I met up in London. “What happened to your paper?”

“Closed down.”

“And that bunch of promising young stars…?”

“You were right about each and every one of them.”

“I’m only interested in the bullshitter,” I said.

“Well, he never gave me a story I could use. One day, after much prompting he gave me a so-called report that was just four paragraphs long, did not make sense and was not credible. He spent his time talking up the girls, reciting poetry, dodging the news editor and city editor, hiding in reporter’s room and generally shooting his mouth.”

I did my best not to say, “I told you so.” Instead, I said: “Do you remember the guy that was supposed to be a big shot reporter when we started out?”

“The guy who wrote about the chicken neck turn…?” he asked.

“That’s the guy. Do you know he’s a big shot at PTV?”

“He was a bull shitter, but one who knew how to profit from his bull,” my editor friend said.

I nodded. “When I worked in Oman there was this guy, a Lebanese chap who spent all his time trying to impress the female staff and hiding in the library, the cafeteria or recording rooms. One day he found himself in the uncomfortable position of doing the news bulletin. The guy nearly died. The next day he had to go to the hospital with heart palpitations.”

And now, just in case you’re wondering what brought this all on; I bumped into an old colleague turned estranged in that spanking new shopping mall in Islamabad. Large as life and loud as ever, he immediately informed me that he was working for a dozen different foreign news services.

“Great,” I said. This guy had been instrumental in causing misunderstandings and bad blood between me and my boss back in 2000 and some. His sense of insecurity, lies and constant manipulations had finally led to me being asked to quit. Ironically, the same thing happened to him.

Just when I was figuring out a way to get rid of this 300lbs, red faced buffoon, he said: “I’m also writing a book.”

“Wonderful,” I said.

“It’s about the Taliban,” he said.

Now, where have I heard that before?

Puppet Press: How Pakistan's media sold its soul to the highest bidder

Puppet Press: How Pakistan's media sold its soul to the highest bidder

 March 24, 2025:  Explore the 10 critical reasons why Pakistan's legacy media continues to disappoint, from political bias and corporate influence to digital transition failures and unsustainable business models in Pakistani journalism.

Recycled guests and repeated narratives: The talk show problem in Pakistan

Recycled guests and repeated narratives: The talk show problem in Pakistan

 September 07, 2024:  Pakistani media is under fire for its lack of investigative reporting, political influence, and censorship. With talk shows becoming monotonous and biased, the public is turning to digital platforms for real news. Read on to learn how Pakistani journalism is failing its people.

Censorship and career: Working as a journalist in the UAE

Censorship and career: Working as a journalist in the UAE

 July 11, 2024:  Explore the challenges and opportunities expat journalists face in the UAE, with insights from Imran Naeem Ahmad, a former Gulf News journalist. Discover the impact of censorship, career prospects, and the reality of working for leading newspapers like Khaleej Times and Gulf News in Dubai.

The invisible hand: How censorship shapes Pakistani journalism today

The invisible hand: How censorship shapes Pakistani journalism today

 July 09, 2024:  Explore the profound impact of censorship on Pakistani journalism. Delve into the challenges faced by journalists, the erosion of press freedom, and broader societal implications in a country grappling with media restrictions and government control.

Why local journalism matters more than ever in a globalized world

Why local journalism matters more than ever in a globalized world

 July 08, 2024:  Discover the critical role of local news in a globalized world and how grassroots journalism empowers communities, ensures informed citizenship, and strengthens our societal fabric in the age of global connectivity.

How Asian print media is fighting back against digital dominance

How Asian print media is fighting back against digital dominance

 July 06, 2024:  Explore the challenges facing print media in Asia, from digital competition to financial struggles, and discover how newspapers and magazines are adapting to survive in the digital age.

The surge of independent media in Asia: A new dawn for journalism

The surge of independent media in Asia: A new dawn for journalism

 July 03, 2024:  Discover how independent media outlets in Asia are transforming journalism by breaking barriers and shaping public opinion. Learn about the challenges and triumphs of these new voices in the media landscape.

Examining the perilous future of Pakistan's print media

Examining the perilous future of Pakistan's print media

 June 28, 2024:  Dive into an extensive exploration of the ominous challenges besieging Pakistan's print media sector. Delve into the heart of the debate on whether traditional newspapers can withstand the onslaught of the digital revolution.

Newsroom
Freedom of expression shrinks in Pakistan as PECA Amendments take toll: report

Freedom of expression shrinks in Pakistan as PECA Amendments take toll: report

 April 30, 2025 Freedom of expression in Pakistan is under threat, as the 2025 Freedom Network report reveals increased arrests, censorship, and legal restrictions following amendments to PECA, posing serious risks to journalists and democratic values.

Dawn urges Indian media to abandon war rhetoric

Dawn urges Indian media to abandon war rhetoric

 April 30, 2025 Dawn has criticized the Indian media's calls for war and condemned the banning of 16 Pakistani YouTube channels, urging a rational response after the Pahalgam attack that left 26 dead.

India bans 16 Pakistani YouTube channels following Pahalgan attack

India bans 16 Pakistani YouTube channels following Pahalgan attack

 April 28, 2025 India has banned 16 Pakistani YouTube channels, including major news outlets and individual journalists, following the deadly Pahalgam attack. Tensions escalate as Islamabad demands a neutral probe.

'In A Different Realm' offers a philosophical take on cricket's greatest innings

'In A Different Realm' offers a philosophical take on cricket's greatest innings

 April 23, 2025 Discover Dr. Nauman Niaz’s In A Different Realm: Story of Quadruple & Triple Centuries 1876–2025, a profound exploration of cricket's most monumental innings, blending historical analysis with poetic narrative.​

Coordinated or coincidence? Identical tweets by Pakistani journalists raise eyebrows

Coordinated or coincidence? Identical tweets by Pakistani journalists raise eyebrows

 April 23, 2025 Pakistani journalists respond in unison to a post hinting at a possible Indian military strike. Citing the 2019 ‘Swift Retort,’ they warn of a stronger response if provoked again.