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Bikram Vohra
JournalismPakistan.com
August 23, 2015
Have you ever outgrown a friend?
Like you were inseparable and then there was a time gap and now you meet again and it’s like leftover pudding, all cold and clammy.
And out of courtesy to the past you try to re-ignite that togetherness but you might as well be lighting the matchstick in the wind because there is no kindling there to capture the flame.
It has gone.
And that is a mystery I have never been able to solve. I guess that is the advantage of not having too many friends. I can count mine on both hands and then some and they have, by and large, hung in there by the skin of their teeth and when we meet it is reasonably magical because we can pick up the strings and run with them.
But once in a while I have had this dismaying experience of crossing paths with someone who was close and making that absurd arrangement to meet up and try and yank back the passage of time but it is a disaster and I wonder why we couldn’t have just made a lot of noise and hugged and slapped each other’s backs and exclaimed how super it was instead of getting all snarled up in the knots of a history that is now irrelevant and heated by fake warmth.
When it becomes worse is when we descend upon each other and invade the home with luggage and stuff to stay a few days and the initial excitement turns to mud the first evening itself when you figure out with ultra HD clarity that you are not the same people anymore and this pretence is torturous.
Wish we had the courage to walk away and not carry on the charade. Both sides would be happy and relieved because the other person is suffering as much as you are.
People tell me that this is because they were not real friends in the first place. Claptrap. They were the closest people to you. It is just the time, place and life has changed. When you were friends you were very good friends and I never apologize for that. We shared experiences, problems, were there for each other and had each other’s support. We laughed and we cried and we cared enough.
I am also sorry the magic faded. It happens.
But no need to lament the loss at the expense of the good times.
(The writer is a Senior Editorial Advisor of Khaleej Times and the paper’s former Editor. He has also been the Editor of Gulf News, Gulf Today, Emirates Today and Bahrain Tribune)
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