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11:25 AM
Bikram Vohra
JournalismPakistan.com
June 29, 2014
This Internet is scary. I was looking for a split antenna that can send a signal from one TV to the others in the house so if you are watching the World Cup or a DVD the household help etc can watch it also in their room and you can have a smoking room and a non-smoking room and whatever.
Now, I typed in TV antenna sender for slave units. Clearly the computer picks up the operative word which is 'slave.'
Okay. So I get 12 years a Slave, I am slave, the American slave trade, Abraham Lincoln, stuff about Alabama, and several other such sites. I also get Ms Babinta with her photograph, her tongue between her teeth in what presumably passes as a seductive smile and she wants to be my friend. In fact she is jonesing to be my friend.
If only she knew my age and my enthusiasm (highly limited) for new friendships. But she won’t let go. Whenever I put on my computer there she is saying hello, truly it is like you are being stalked. Now, obviously this connects to other people and I have an Anna who pops up when I am on the net and asks me what I am doing tonight.
Watching the match, you silly bobbin. What do you think I am doing?
Joining them is a picture of a sultry looking lady wearing black stockings, saying she is Elga and asking me if I am lonely and would I like a slave.
Would I like a slave? Are you stark raving mad?
All I wanted was to light my cigar and watch a few football matches upstairs on an old TV through a crappy signal sender except I could not find one and I apologize for the slave trade but get me out of this. I am so scared I don’t even want to switch on the machine…in case Ms Babinta is lurking inside.
(The writer is a Senior Editorial Advisor of Khaleej Times and the paper’s former Editor. He has also been the Editor of Gulf News, Gulf Today, Emirates Today and Bahrain Tribune)
If my call is so important to them, why don’t they answer it for 22 minutes?
How come when I want to, but something specific online is the only item out of stock.
When I get into a queue or lane going fast, the moment I get in, it becomes the slowest and refuses to budge.
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