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Bikram Vohra
JournalismPakistan.com
June 11, 2014
What is your most unappealing feature? Most of us go through life never even asking ourselves this simple question.
Just like with cosmetics we are more inclined to camouflage our negatives and pretend they do not exist. But it is a fascinating exercise in piercing the self-deception. It stands to logic that all of us have unappealing qualities. And one of them is the least. We may not even recognize it but that does not mean it does not exist.
Whatever your relationship to the other person, however much love has you blinded or gratitude has you beholden that tackiest quality has to be there. It could be a tic, some horrible habit, a tendency to lie or exaggerate, gossip, be mean spirited, arrogant, plain nasty, offensive, hostile and aggressive, cheap, a dozen other possibilities.
So when I was asked this question I pondered for quite a while then made a short list. Came up with a finalist.
I have a very short attention span for people and am not a good listener. It must be very disconcerting for others to know you would rather be elsewhere when you are in their company. Not always but often enough for it to be unappealing. There is no malice in it, no deliberate rudeness, I just far too often don’t pay attention and the other party notices it.
So what happens to you that instead of adjusting that out of synch part of your personality you make it into a trait and integrate it into your character. See, that is who I am. I have no time for you, I don’t need to know you, I don’t have to clutter up my radar, all nice convenient cover ups for bad manners and rudeness.
Guess I have moved one step towards making it a little less unappealing by recognizing the flaw. Most of us haven’t even got that far.
Go on, write down your Most Unappealing feature, see if you can be candid.
(The writer is a Senior Editorial Advisor of Khaleej Times and the paper’s former Editor. He has also been the Editor of Gulf News, Gulf Today, Emirates Today and Bahrain Tribune)
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