JournalismPakistan.com September 15, 2013
The reckoning cometh. Use a word like ‘cometh’ and you immediately give out the signal that you are refined and educated and impressively pedantic. I know people who do that sort of absurd adornment to silence other people. They’ll say that one needs to ratiocinate a little before arriving at a conclusion and you’ll sit there looking fatuous and wondering what on earth it means. They say things like ‘increasing exponentially’ or ‘subliminal satisfaction’ and you never really know what the heck it means except that it is very impressive.
Others of the ilk use foreign language. Ipso facto, it is the caveat emptor clause that negates the submission. Okay, if you say so, I’ll buy it but I have no clue what I am buying.
Then you get those who pepper their conversation with quotes. You are making this very telling point in your own fractured language and telling it well when this person will say, oh you are going by the Proust theory, it is interesting but Nietsche said it more eloquently.
Who invited these two to the party?
You can hardly hit back with James Patterson so you do what I do, go sit in a corner and sulk and eat all the canapés.
The worst are the corporate types. Think laterally. As opposed to what, standing up, lying on my tummy, sideways?
Make a cognitive appreciation of the projected situation. Nod wisely, doodle on the pad, look for another job.
Operating revenue is lower than operating costs. There goes the furniture and you and you and you.
We must go back to go forward. What did you say, what sense does that make. Nod wisely again and make a second doodle.
Debt to equity does not balance out. And you and you and you…off you go.
We may be in the red but we have immense goodwill on the market. Oops, no bonus.
(The writer is a Senior Editorial Advisor of Khaleej Times and the paper’s former Editor. He has also been the Editor of Gulf News, Gulf Today, Emirates Today and Bahrain Tribune)
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