JournalismPakistan.com January 10, 2017
Things that drive wives crazy: Husbands will spend merrily on their relatives when they are visiting and be perfect hosts but will face a sudden cash crunch when her family arrives. Do we have to go to the mall, why not watch a movie at home, nice and cosy, so much to catch up on.
They will take aunts, uncles and sundry cousins to various tourist spots with an enthusiasm and generosity that shocks wives, even taking time off from office. But will suddenly find massive office workload when her relatives are in town. You take them, darling, have fun, the boss is really being a pain these days, three meetings today.
This terrible behavior is not true of me, of course, because I am the ideal husband but my friends, they are terrible. One of their sisters came over with her whole brood of kids and he redid the guest room, converted it into a suite, got a new AC put in, moved the big TV there and hired her a car and driver … for the whole week.
And then his wife’s brother and his wife came for three days on the way to London and Sunshine here regretted deeply with hands wrung so sincerely Lady Macbeth would have wept that it coincided with the annual company conference but he cannot join them on the day trip to Agra, have fun any way.
For his family the best restaurant, escargot and pâté, must try it out, it is smashing and he is coughing up his credit card with unbridled abandon and this is the same guy who when her relatives were over kept on about nothing like a home cooked meal and let’s just stay home and chat.
In every home version of this conversation, he says, do we have to give everyone gifts, why not just one for all of them, no I am not being cheap, it has been an expensive month, we have to be a little careful, it all adds up. She says, when your silly cousins were here you bought them saris and handbags, why is it always like this, the moment my family fetches up, you get soooooo busy and we have no money.
That’s not true, stop being so sensitive, okay, fine, cheer up, let’s take them out for dinner, I’ll show you I am not like the other men, okay folks, dinner’s on me, let’s go have dosas, I know this great place, serves a super veg thali.
(The writer is a Senior Editorial Advisor of Khaleej Times and the paper’s former Editor. He has also been the Editor of Gulf News, Gulf Today, Emirates Today and Bahrain Tribune)
Pakistan Observer, December 14, 2016
I have never been to a torture chamber but the other day I accompanied my wife to a beauty parlor and was invited in since there were no other customers. Half an hour into observing the self-inflicted cosmetic cruelty that women voluntarily engage in, and you get the impression it makes Gitmo look like a holiday resort.
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