Bikram Vohra
JournalismPakistan.com
January 6, 2017

Stop with this Bengaluru stuff about women being molested as if there was an element of surprise in it. The most horrifying part of this incident is that we have to protest it and denounce it and label those idiot politicians who explain it in the most ludicrous terms. Every time we condemn the attitude or the act or the drivel of a defence in the aftermath, we trivialise it and it diminishes us. We only perpetuate the myth that it is just a couple of hoodlums, these things happen. And we let it go.

So what if 20 odd girls are scarred for life. Hotha hai.

Time to get into a reality check. Indian men are crude. They are louts and loafers who see girls as prey. Just read the messages from trolls on websites from behind their cloak of anonymity and the profanity flows as smoothly as the Ganga, most of it explicitly sexual.

It is because of this men’s club that politicians and TV panelists can be allowed to give their side of it as if rape and molestation and saying ‘no’ had a flip side to it. It does not. The sickness is so deep that however outraged we are it only amounts to a fleeting dismay and disgust. After all, it is only girls in short dresses.

The sexually frustrated male is not an exception, he is the rule. Having a massive lack of courtesy or grace or confidence in establishing a healthy relationship with women, Indian men learn early that crudeness, crassness and epithets set to the raucous music of wolf whistles and catcalls and roadside Romeo remarks are the best and most macho alternative to the stunting of their social skills.

Porn from thousands of channels and feeding each other’s shabby egos with ‘triumphs’ that never happened, these men in their legions resort to touching girls in buses and trains, nudging them in shopping centres and malls and bumping into them in elevators and classrooms.

After a while this behaviour balloons into a birthright and is encouraged by the value system at home where mothers and sisters are hypocritically venerated but other girls are fair game. Add to this the fallout from fertile imaginations and these creepy crawlies begin to fantasize that the woman actually likes it, is asking for it and they are, in some way, doing her a favour by being ‘it.’ The brainwash is very easy to do and flawed courage from numbers allows them to misbehave in rabid packs.

This lack of respect is inbuilt and predicated to the belief that men are superior and women are objectified. The sexual frustration of the Indian male is not only criminal it is animalistic.

After every such gross occurrence the equation is distilled and by some curious chemistry becomes the girl’s fault.

When my daughters were young I taught them one lesson. There are no flipping uncles, no chachas and mamoos and no men are allowed to hug you or make you uncomfortable because they call you beta. Now, they have children of their own, I want the lesson repeated.

Then I taught them another lesson. Where it hurts the most, kick him there and if you cannot manage that then spike his kneecap, he’ll never walk again.

Unless we are as a society prepared to accept that our men have a problem with the opposite sex, are repressed, oppressed sexually and inclined towards being dirty-minded these sort of assaults will never stop. And if political party leaders and men of good faith permit their rank and file to mock the victims with a sly wink and a smile of conspiracy, what chance do we have.

Last week, on New Year’s Eve, a friend of ours was watching a concert when she was assaulted by four louts. Here is what she wrote on her page:

Need to share this…

Amidst all the amazing fun we had... I punched a guy. Yes, it's violent — not typical for me — not the politically correct thing to do.

But a man pinched my bottom (and no, this is not ha-ha funny — which is exactly what his mates thought).

I thought I'd let it slide — I did punch him — but I looked around to see there were young girls standing right next to me 9, 19, 26 — who may never do anything about incidents like that. Found the police and the CID and got him taken away.

Man was it worth it to see his sorry self being carted out of the concert. It is never ever okay to violate someone's personal space.

Never ever okay to touch a girl or kids!

True.

It has nothing to do with clothes or with the time on the clock or their ‘asking for it.’ It is just flat out a psychological mindset that is grotesque in its shape and given the tick mark by the elders. Unless the punishment is severe and instant we will keep going down the slippery slope.

If these predators weren’t everywhere why would we have to protect our women? From whom? The first step is to be honest. Mumsie, your son is a freaking ill conceived lout.

(The writer is a Senior Editorial Advisor of Khaleej Times and the paper’s former Editor. He has also been the Editor of Gulf News, Gulf Today, Emirates Today and Bahrain Tribune)