JournalismPakistan.com April 27, 2013
The difference between husbands and wives is that husbands never know what will spark a major fight. Can be a little off the cuff remark, some meaningless, harmless comment, maybe nothing at all.
We are sitting at home the other day smugly pretending to be relieved we haven't been invited anywhere and isn’t it nice the girls are married and we’ll be grandparents again next week when one of the girls says, how did you two meet? I am in a good mood, having won my game so I say, I met your mother at a dinner, she looked so special, she stood out, our eyes met, they locked and it was love at first sight, right there across the prawn cocktails and the seekh kebabs at the buffet.
Wow, say the girls, oh wow, you mean you were actually a romantic, old fuddy duddy you.
Rubbish, says my wife, I did not even notice your father, only later I was told he had been following me around trying to get my name.
Not true, I say, you were so intrigued by me that next day you sent your friend to see me to say let's meet at the club where I was to play squash.
I did not, she dragged me there and your father was all sweaty and messy...
I had just won my game, I say, one gets sweaty if one plays squash, that's the main idea of playing.
And he stood around looking moony.... I was not looking moony.
Yes, you were, you were looking moony, like a lost cause... and mumbling incoherently.
So how come when I asked you out that evening you agreed, if I was such a lost cause.
Because I felt sorry for you, you had no one else to take, it was obvious, alone and stuck.
Ha, I say, ha, I, I had no one else to take, let me tell you I had dozens of choices, the only reasons I asked you was because you were new in town and I felt sorry.
You think I wanted to go to your silly airline party; it was such a drag anyway.
You could have said no, no one was forcing you, like I could have gone with someone else. So do that, then, go you don’t have to patronize me.
Hey guys, says Senior, cool it, that was 33 years ago, this is ridiculous. Yes, says Junior, if this is your idea of romance they won't make a song of it.
Your mother was dying to go, I say, she wanted to be seen with me.
Ha, says my wife, with you, ha and ha again, there were two thousand other choices.
Sheesh, who started this, says Senior. You did, says Junior.
Dumb idea, says Senior, like guys, it’s okay, we don't want to know.
(The writer is a Senior Editorial Advisor of Khaleej Times and the paper’s former Editor. He has also been the Editor of Gulf News, Gulf Today, Emirates Today and Bahrain Tribune)
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