JournalismPakistan.com January 19, 2015
I have a weakness which I can only hope you don’t have. I explain. I can’t help it. It is inherent. And it always comes off sloppy, like a half apology and a half justification.
It also annoys everyone else. Family, friends, staff. Why do you have to explain everything you do? So you gave the driver hundred bucks because his grandmother was ill. Let it go, you don’t need anyone’s permission. But we guilt ourselves, people like me, into having to lay it all out.
Your money, your decision, no one’s asking just stop baring your soul. The worst part is you never come out a winner. You just end up bugging all around you and looking as if you are being furtive and have done something wrong because you are going on and on.
You want to talk to someone, do it. You want to travel business class, knock yourself out. You believe in a mission, follow it, you have a dream chase it. You want to fire someone, fine. You want to give a loan, take a loan, be nice to someone, be rude to another, go for it, just stop explaining why you did it.
For those who spend their lives explaining (and it is very difficult for those who do not explain to understand this hang up) the exhaustion it brings is self-inflicted. But we cannot help ourselves, the need to unburden is so great.
So we end up on a daily basis snarled in our ball of wool, because there is nothing cosmic or grand about our issues.
I bought two strawberry jams because they were on sale seemed like a good deal. (no one cares).
I bought a nice T-shirt but now I think it was an indulgence, I think I’ll return it, not that it was very expensive (no one cares).
I was feeling lucky so I spent 500 bucks on the Duty Free ticket, who knows someone has to win, you think I should have, you think I made a mistake, you think it was a waste.
See, that’s the next part. We not only explain ourselves we then ask for affirmation and approbation and a clearance letter, we need to be told we did the right thing. We worry it like a dog worries a bone. You think I shouldn’t have, right? He has taken an advance, I don’t think his grandmother is really sick.
Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. So I have decided to make a resolution. I am going to try and end this six decades of explaining by doing exactly what I want, how I want, as I want and the devil take the hind leg. I don’t care what anyone has to say about it.
So, you think I am making the right one…?
See, it isn’t as easy as it seems.
(The writer is a Senior Editorial Advisor of Khaleej Times and the paper’s former Editor. He has also been the Editor of Gulf News, Gulf Today, Emirates Today and Bahrain Tribune)
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