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05:02 PM
Bikram Vohra
JournalismPakistan.com
April 4, 2014
Every now and then I update my campaign on mobile phones and all those who espouse them, marry them, are glued to them or need them as security blankets. My phone has been on silent mode for two years and no, I will not respond to a missed call. You want to call, call, period. Neither of them are that important.
So, here are my 2014 commandments.
And it crossed my mind that as the mobile mania grips us so terribly there should be a code of conduct mandatory for everyone who carries these gizmos around. I call it my 11 commandments.
1: Thou shalt not endanger life on road by juggling steering with one hand while trying to talk through instrument wedged between chin and collarbone as the car sways between lane one and lane two. Stop and call or stay off the road. You cannot be that stupid…oh, yes you can.
2: Thus shalt have the common courtesy of not entering someone's home and saying excuse me and then dialing numbers off your machine while host and hostess stare dumbly at you. This is the height of bad manners and anyone so insensitive should be struck off the guest list. Spend the day at home with your phone, okay.
3:Thou shalt not carry mobile phone into theatre or stadium. If you are that important and can't be away from your work then you shouldn't be watching the game or the movie in the first place. Believe me, you are not that indispensable, life will bumble along without you, surprise, surprise.
4: Thou shalt not sit opposite another in restaurant and receive or make calls as the soup goes cold. That is also extreme bad manners especially if the other guy is paying the bill. Why should so many reasonably intelligent people engage in this practice? Nothing is urgent about your call.
5:Thou shalt be a lesser idiot than normal and not make calls from an aircraft seat before the doors close because it is offensive to other passengers settling in to have you yelling on your phone...do that before embarking. And no one cares whether you have sat down, are taking off or landing, so shut up.
6: Thou shalt not carry mobiles into meetings and then disrupt the proceedings by receiving bleeps, pips, vibrations or some ghastly tune from the mobile. Teeteeetetooo to you, too.
7: Thou shalt not march through life visibly carrying mobile phone like a status symbol or a security blanket or a suit of armor or an excuse to escape the situation. Believe me you look stupid when you walk into some place carrying it like a treasure…and I really don’t want you playing games on it.
8: Thou shalt not, in any gathering, say sshshshhshsh, I have a phone call. If you have a phone call then shshshsh yourself, why should we all have to stop living so you can talk…and it isn’t as if you are reciting Shakespeare.
9: Thou shalt not bore the pants off others by discussing ad nauseum the merits and demerits of the features on their mobile phones...who cares, why should we find it fascinating, what is it to the world if your 2005D model has more memory than the K6000. With your two digit IQ you don’t need so much space.
10:Thou shalt not enter elevator mid conversation on a mobile phone and then annoy other users by continuing to gab as the lift moves up. That is rude.
11: You might be on nine apps platforms or whatever and you can tweet, insta-whoever but don’t expect us to be fascinated by any of it.
This list should be printed and given by all mobile phone manufacturers and retailers.
(The writer is a Senior Editorial Advisor of Khaleej Times and the paper’s former Editor. He has also been the Editor of Gulf News, Gulf Today, Emirates Today and Bahrain Tribune)
If my call is so important to them, why don’t they answer it for 22 minutes?
How come when I want to, but something specific online is the only item out of stock.
When I get into a queue or lane going fast, the moment I get in, it becomes the slowest and refuses to budge.
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