JournalismPakistan.com October 13, 2013
Success is being welcomed by name in a restaurant.
People recognizing you by the car you drive.
Not worrying about your phone bill.
Not needing vulgar things like money when you go out.
Credit cards that are a different color from the run of the mill stuff.
Having a home that is a hallmark in the town.
Being recognized in a foreign country.
Not knowing what to buy for yourself since you have everything.
Wearing anything and people saying you are a trendsetter, even if it is a torn T shirt.
Everyone laughing at all your jokes, even when they are totally unfunny.
Your ghastly little habits are seen as cute idiosyncracies especially the way you scratch your ears or wiggle your toes because you are YOU.
People promptly return your phone calls and tell other people that you called them. And if they call you then.
You call your jewellery baubles.
Being shocked when someone is gauche enough to ask you what class you fly. Doesn't everyone fly first class?
Peppering your conversation naturally with famous names and not failing to drop them.
Never having to eat leftovers.
People taking your opinion seriously even if you are talking complete nonsense.
Folks dying to be invited to your party.
When people bend over backwards trying to understand your obnoxious behavior and find merit in it.
When a smile from you makes some-one's day.
When you become fat and flaccid and people call you 'prosperous'.
Your banker gets up to greet you.
Things don't start till you get there.
You ask everyone's opinion and then do precisely what you want. It is your ball. So you make the rules of the game.
You are in a position to get away from it all by going to an even more exotic place at exotic prices than the exotic place you reside in.
You enjoy feeling jaded.
You can update models of your electronics merely because they are there.
Winning a squash game against a much younger player.
Finding 100 dirhams in an old coat.
Going to the airport as a 'chance' passenger and getting an upgrade.
Summoning up enough courage to ask a lovely young lady out and she says 'yes'.
Doing something people say you cannot do.
Looking for a bargain and getting one.
Finding a recipe that works.
Trying to put some electrical item right and it works.
Doing the whole crossword without seeking help.
Still being in love after years of marriage.
Finding a candle when the lights go off.
Ceasing to bite your nails.
Actually losing weight after your 33rd try at a diet.
Opening a jam jar by ‘pressing here' and 'here' without getting a'here-nia'.
Getting a do it yourself kit and doing it yourself.
Finding a shirt with a clean collar.
Taking the car to the mechanic and he puts it right without bleeding you white.
Success is having the last word with your wife and she saying sorry. That'll be the day.
(The writer is a Senior Editorial Advisor of Khaleej Times and the paper’s former Editor. He has also been the Editor of Gulf News, Gulf Today, Emirates Today and Bahrain Tribune)
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