JournalismPakistan.com October 7, 2013
Three of the worst domestic scenarios with dollops of misplaced advice that no one will take. The distillation of research on what annoys women about their men. Do you have any other scenarios to share?
In the first instance.
Hey what do you think you are doing, mister
My husband has a very bad habit of reading my mail and brailing through my handbag to see what is inside. This is a very irritating thing and I see it as a total invasion of my privacy. He believes there should be no secrets and cannot understand why I am offended by coming home and finding slit envelopes…including bills for things I have bought. He then quizzes me on the expenses and this is money that I have earned. Grossly unfair but he will not just listen. I have sort of gotten used to it but things have taken a turn for the worse when I discovered that he overhears my phone calls on the extension line. I never realized that. It is not as if he has a dirty mind or anything, it is simply his habit to know what I am up to, a curiosity to listen in to woman talk. I have not yet confronted him. Should I?
Advice: You are kidding. You mean you even have to ask such a question. Your man is a twit. He has no business opening your mail but if he is listening in to private conversations then he is one inch away from being a peeping Tom and if I were you I would read him the riot act. What sort of man does this sort of thing? The fact you have to face is that he is not showing you respect and nobody should be in a position to do that…certainly not between a husband and wife. If I were you, I would sit him down and do some heart to heart talking.
In the second:
Migoodness, I married a slob
My husband is a slob. Like in ess ell o bee. You should see the bathroom after he has used it. Like Hurricane Katrina is small time compared to his mess. Wet towels, discarded clothes, gummy soap dish, caps off all the tubes, I could truly kill him and celebrate. It take hours to clean up. You think that is bad, bring old sunshine to the dining table. He makes noises while eating. Noises you don’t want to hear. Noises that make you cringe with shame. Noises that make one want to cry. He stretches across the table and then he grabs the dish and piles his plate and he slurps and slurps and no amount of discussion helps. He says he relishes his food, what’s the problem? The problem is he is making every meal a depressing audio-visual nightmare.
Advice: Thank you for your invitation to dinner. I regret that since I plan to shoot myself in the foot the day of the event I may not be able to accept. I am sure you will have a slobbering good time.
PS: Listen lady, he is your husband, your problem, you handle it.
My guy is a bedtime story
My husband is the most boring guy in the world. If he tells a story it takes six hours to finish and he repeats himself incessantly. His jokes are unfunny; his use of words all wrong, he mispronounces names and thinks he is a wit.
People have stopped meeting with us because he is so tedious, hearing him is like watching paint dry in audio. Non-stop and always the same old stories. He is also always bragging any lying about his life. It is like chalk screeching on the blackboard. I have brought up the point on several occasions asking him to please give others a chance, but no way. And he is the most opinionated man I know whose opinions stink. Can you help me?
Advice: Of course, with pleasure. You could put duct tape on his mouth or ear plugs in your ears. I have other options but your husband is on the line and I have to go listen to him.
(The writer is a Senior Editorial Advisor of Khaleej Times and the paper’s former Editor. He has also been the Editor of Gulf News, Gulf Today, Emirates Today and Bahrain Tribune)
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