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Bikram Vohra
JournalismPakistan.com
August 29, 2013
Has it ever struck anyone that colors have won for themselves a completely new dimension in meaning. They are no longer words that merely describe pigment. They describe life in a funny haha and funny peculiar way.
Blue:
The feeling when you don't win the car at the Dubai Duty Free.
Lose a fixture after reaching match point.
The boy who blew his horn.
A fit engineered by holding your breath.
Songs sung when she has run away with a less worthy fellow than yourself and you cannot understand how anyone can be so silly, look what a catch you were.
Suede shoes that make others wonder, is he???
In the face when you have been made a cuckoo of and can do nothing about it.
General state of mind when attending office because you are not getting what you deserve, courtesy office politics. More work, less pay and all that stuff.
Green:
Monster that rears ugly head when neighbors get car in Duty Free raffle.
As in lolly, which you have far too little of.
What too many prawns and other such indulgences create the morning after the night before.
As in emerald that fat lady was wearing, must be worth a fortune.
Signal far too many motorists do not wait for.
Giant who is jolly but no one knows why, not that you care when you are feeling browned off.
Stuff you are told to never leave on your plate, eat it up now, it is good for you.
Pink:
For some reason indicative of super health, difficult to spot if born brown or black but history will have her say.
A half-hearted communist who delivers his sermon in stereo sound purchased from decadent West.
Flamingos that got caught in flagrant delicto and if you don't know what that means, you shouldn't be reading this, anyway.
Mr. Seller's panther whose color ran.
Floyd, but we'll leave that alone.
Yellow:
Coward.
Usually in the region of the belly.
General coloration when jaundiced.
Roses sent to loved ones when they are going away.
Ribbons tied to oak trees when they come back. N.B: If you have no oak trees you are telling them something!! Not good enough if tied to acorn.
Cream on top of milk except it is never there.
Journalism the other lot practices.
Purple:
Prose written by people who should not be writing. Ornate beyond comprehension.
Also a medal given with heartfelt thanks from Uncle Sam (to guys who stop bullets with their names written on them).
Scarlet. The chap they sought everywhere.
Stuff you spill when someone shoves a dagger up your chest cavity.
O'Hara with a 't' less.
The Pimpernel. Letters.
(The writer is a Senior Editorial Advisor of Khaleej Times and the paper’s former Editor. He has also been the Editor of Gulf News, Gulf Today, Emirates Today and Bahrain Tribune)
If my call is so important to them, why don’t they answer it for 22 minutes?
How come when I want to, but something specific online is the only item out of stock.
When I get into a queue or lane going fast, the moment I get in, it becomes the slowest and refuses to budge.
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