JournalismPakistan.com Aug 9, 2013
I have no problem sleeping. I can sleep at the drop of a hat. I can sleep without the drop of a hat. I can sleep on planes (which drives everyone crazy) even happily on those ridiculous candy floss shaped airport chairs, no problem.
When we were newly-wed my wife would say how can you just drop off like that, I just went to change and you were asleep, how can you do that, it’s disgusting?
Very easy, shut your eyes and go to sleep. It is amazing how much rage you cause by sleeping easily and not having insomnia. People loathe you for it, they cannot forgive you for your utter inconsideration. It’s almost like you had bad manners. The whole world is finding it tough to sleep and you are swanning into slumberland.
There they are folks having jasmine tea and putting lavender drops behind their ears, doing yoga and meditation and trying little funny potions and listening to Gregorian chants or rain falling, I mean you go out and by a cassette that mimics the ocean surf and you think that is going to help.
I can sleep through noise, put the TV on a Bruce Willis movie and I’ll be out like a light in seconds, largely helped I must admit by the soporific effect of the brainless script.
My friends toss and turn. Why? Why don’t you just go to sleep? That is what sleep is there for. I think I must have an eighty winks complex or was born to inherit the land of nod.
Sometimes even I think I wake up just so I can go to sleep again, like those ‘you have to leave to come again’ sentiments. I have lost friends who find this habit less than endearing.
Sometimes you are a partry, and some lady says, my goodness, I am having such a problem sleeping, I am awake till 4 in the morning, wide-eyed and everyone sympathizes and then they are comparing notes and all of them have disturbed sleep, interrupted sleep, no sleep, semi-sleep, sleep that is not really sleep but a kind of a daze and you are listening to all this and your eyes are getting heavy and you are about to droop.
By the time someone asks my opinion, you got it, brother, I am fast asleep.
(The writer is a Senior Editorial Advisor of Khaleej Times and the paper’s former Editor. He has also been the Editor of Gulf News, Gulf Today, Emirates Today and Bahrain Tribune)
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