JournalismPakistan.com July 28, 2013
Years back we just called the plumber and he came. And he was grateful we had called him. Now it goes something like this:
Ajax Plumbers, how may I help you.
Our main kitchen pipe is leaking.
Do you have a reference number?
Yes, it is K654YT.
One moment please, I am getting you on the computer, are you on our frequent user reward program, may I recommend that you sign on, it gives you many privileges including lounge facilities at several airports and you can also be eligible for our Take a break vacation promotion.
Thanks, but talking about breaks, can we just get the leak fixed.
It isn't that simple, according to your dossier...
Your dossier, your file, it shows negligence, you haven't had your four month plumbing servicing done now for eight months.
I am sorry about that, see I was traveling and...
I am sorry, Sir, that would mean higher premiums on your long-term contract otherwise we cannot be responsible for the state of your plumbing and according to clause 9, para 4 sub clause IVC our obligations are rescinded.
So ,what do we do now, the leak is causing us to shut the mains off and we have no water going anywhere, it is an emergency.
We have a 50 percent emergency surcharge and if you will give us your credit card number and accept these conditions I will feed the symptoms into the computer.
Yes yes yes, I accept, whatever, take my card number.
Please wait, Sir, I have to get clearance for your credit rating.
Can I cry?
That is your prerogative, Sir, now, please respond to the following questions:
When did you first notice the symptoms, is the faucet area affected, have the walls got damp imprints, is there any hissing sound, is the water muddy colored, are the pipes suffering from multiple leakage?
You give the answers.
According to our initial diagnosis your pipes are affected by mildewus fungitis and there are suspicions of metal fatigue leading to multiple fractures, did you try self-medication because we have a strict warning against amateur repair works, it puts the whole system in danger.
About here you get the first heaving sob.
(The writer is a Senior Editorial Advisor of Khaleej Times and the paper’s former Editor. He has also been the Editor of Gulf News, Gulf Today, Emirates Today and Bahrain Tribune)
The Nation, February 16, 2017
As we move into the second week of the stay-home directive, many of us must be discovering a new inner self, and how much we take for granted and miss it sorely when it is gone.Read more... | Archives
A study conducted by JournalismPakistan.com and Communications Research Strategies on the economic situation of slain journalists' families and journalists displaced due to security threats.