JournalismPakistan.com July 16, 2013
Queues are alive. Believe me and they have a mind of their own and they do not like me. I go to pay my phone bill and just before me is this one PRO with 30 payments to make so my queue comes to a grinding halt. Then he drops two or three papers and you help him and he thanks you and you are still waiting. Then he drops another paper and you grin evilly but there is nothing you can do because you are abs sure he’s going to jam the machine and when it is finally your turn it won't work and it doesn’t.
I went to park my car the other day and took a ticket at the pole and the machine spewed out another ticket and then another ticket and the pole would not lift and I had four tickets and on the way out the man at the cubicle said, oh it is the heat, the machine malfunctions. No, it doesn’t, it saw me coming.
If I go to the movies or theatre or wherever there is limited seating they will shut the gate at me, sorry, no more, that is all. I don’t even try to go to an embassy at any time on any day for any visa because that guard will block me and say no more, goodbye.
At the airport I am the clever guy who sees a smaller line and it’s whizzing along so I move from my snail’s pace queue and go to the other one. Automatically snail’s pace follows and now the slow dance line I was in goes into high gear rock you mode and my guy goes off his chair for a break. All the folks behind me in the first line are now happily out of Immigration and I am still stuck there.
And if it isn’t a loo break or whatever then the passenger has a problem with his visa or passport and now there is a huddle with three or four officers discussing his plight and everyone else is going home except Vohra.
Line up at the luggage carousel and my wife has asked me to bring her leftover luggage so there are two bags and you can stop laughing you do the same and now one bag comes but it is dawn before the next one arrives.
If I queue up for a cab they’ll come in droves till it is my turn then there will be a drought, no cab, not the smallest sign of a cab, take a tan.
Have you ever queued up outside an aircraft toilet? Like what is the guy doing in there, having a bath? I mean, there is only three feet by two feet space, you can’t do anything, so come out already.
Went to get some official work the other day. Took a number and sat down and you won’t believe this but it happened. As my number tinged for Counter 5 the lady smiled at me, said give me a minute and pushed off. There are 80 people in the room and I become the Jonah, everybody else is beavering away except me and an empty chair.
Story of your life???????
(The writer is a Senior Editorial Advisor of Khaleej Times and the paper’s former Editor. He has also been the Editor of Gulf News, Gulf Today, Emirates Today and Bahrain Tribune)
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