JournalismPakistan.com July 2, 2013
This is going to be a short, tasteless funny piece but one that has haunted me for long.
Why do some people eat badly?
Like not only do they heap their plates but they suddenly go so out of character from the refined, educated, smart character in the drawing room. They slurp, they drool, the food spills from the corners of their mouths, they cannot keep their lips closed when they are chewing, they make funny sounds and you cannot believe it is the same person. It is like the second split of the personality has suddenly taken over. Some even swirl the food in their plates and cannot seem to spear it, chasing it all over the plate.
Anne Boleyn once said of Henry VIII, you make love like you eat, with a lot of noise and little finesse.
Never mind the love but can’t the husband or wife or friend tell his partner or mate that the eating habit needs a makeover and that it is very embarrassing for everyone else at the table.
And these are not peasants. These are well placed privileged people and you would think that they’d have figured it out for themselves. They are probably going to drive back in an expensive car to an expensive home and a fat bank balance.
But when it comes to eating, it’s revolting.
It’s a simple conversation, not hard to do.
Darling I have something to say.
Yes, my carnation.
You have disgusting eating habits.
Sorry, my buttercup, what did you say?
You heard me, you make a right spectacle of yourself, the way you eat, it is disgusting, get my drift, now stop it, shut your mouth and chew your food, capiche.
Have it, please.
(The writer is a Senior Editorial Advisor of Khaleej Times and the paper’s former Editor. He has also been the Editor of Gulf News, Gulf Today, Emirates Today and Bahrain Tribune)
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