JournalismPakistan.com March 07, 2013
If someone asked me what great mystery I would like to uncover, it is the need for so many people to change their profile on Facebook and then post the new photograph with the brilliantly exciting statement attached to it indicating that they have changed their profile photograph.
The world is falling apart, there are wars and carnage and bombs going off and here are these peeps waking up in the morning and saying, mi goodness, I have to change my photograph, get a new one, me next to a plane, or a cow or a Maserati or my Emirates hills bungalow….Rajagopalan Vengachari has changed his profile...get outta here.
But to more important things…I have to digress.
As far as intrigue goes this one compares closely with the absence of my name from the Ahlaan Masala Hot Hundred, a party being held tonight in Dubai to which I have inadvertently not been invited. I know the editor Alia Fawad has missed me out by sheer oversight since I am bubbling hot and she always smiles at me when she sees me and my wife also truly thinks I am hot (oh, okay, don’t push your luck) I’ll settle for lukewarm or tepid even, so far as it hasn’t cooled.
It hurts. All the way to the locker.
After all, you cannot go through life bouncing with confidence if you know there are 100 people out there hotter than you, like baking away while you sit out in the cold. Think of it, the guy at the red light in his car could be hotter than you.
What she (Alia) does not know is that since I was a child I have always wanted to be on a list…like a bestseller. Kids my age wanted to be pilots and astronauts and doctors and lawyers, I wanted to be in the top 10, the first 50, the hot 100. So, naturally, since the world is full of devious and diabolical plots, I was denied these opportunities and have a collection of psychological scars to show for it.
I woke up this morning feverishly looking into my email for Alia’s apology soaked message making amends for the delayed invitation but da nada, nothinggggggg!!
So, come this evening the burning 100 will congregate and many of them will express deep and abiding concern when they notice my searing absence (can you notice an absence I wonder, like if you are not there how can you notice it, notice it meaning you can see it, but if it is not there how can you see it)...aaah, life is full of conundrums and if you don’t know what that means hard cheese because I intend to have a hot bath and warm up the fahrenheit on my own, after all, a hot hunner sans Vohra is like a chicken patty without the chicken.
It’s okay, Alia and Masala, I shall persevere even though you have shattered another illusion.
I guess I’ll have to go to Facebook and have that epiphany folks have when they change their picture. And let the world know that a cataclysmic development has been registered. This is the new me. Perhaps if I do it right away there is still time to make that list…but then, what if I am 99 on it..that sucks.
Unless you are 101 and have just missed the cut…now that demands a change of profile.
(The writer is a Senior Editorial Advisor of Khaleej Times and the paper’s former Editor. He has also been the Editor of Gulf News, Gulf Today, Emirates Today and Bahrain Tribune)
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